let’s be real here if icarly were an actual webshow they would get bullied so badly
i finally got to 15 followers on tumblr. i’m trying really hard to not let the fame get to my head but it’s difficult. today some lady at the supermarket asked me if i wanted paper or plastic bags and i just f*****cking lost it i am too famous for her questions. i can’t believe i haven’t been asked to do a magazine cover yet. i feel like it is coming soon.
just replace all police with police dogs
nobody would be mean or rude the police imagine a dog with a lil’ backpack giving you a ticket. you can’t get mad at the dog. the dog is just doing his lil’ dog job and wagging his tail and you KNOW he loves you still.
“wanna hang out? when are you free?”
i’m never free, $25 per hang out session please.
a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced